You had me at Diet Coke

So, like, remember that post I wrote about that guy.  You know, that guy from Plenty of Fish?  Not Mr Male Model, no.  Not Baby Bowler.  Not Mr Therapy, but the other one.  Ev83.  Yeah, that’s him…

I went back to check on his profile to verify some facts.  He’s deleted it.  That’s okay.  I’ll have words with him about it later.  Perhaps after he’s read this post.  (Ev, if you’re reading this, I have some words for you.)

A PoF guy reads your post? you ask.  Yup.  But he was an eHarmony guy before he was a Plenty of Fish guy.  And I was an eHarmony girl long before I was a Plenty of Fish girl.  And I know he’ll get around to reading this.  I guess he’s as amused by my experiences as I am.

Ev and I were matched on eHarmony more than a year ago.  I probably wouldn’t have contacted him at all if it weren’t for his mention of two very specific things: Saskatchewan Roughriders and Diet Coke. We hit it off right away and I was delighted to find a match for my impressive wit and brilliant humour.  By April 1, we were ready to play the mother of all practical jokes.

I’ve never been one to really participate in April Fool’s pranks, but Ev got me started and I offered to help him.  His plan was to create a fake engagement and post it all over Facebook.  This got my gears working and I offered to add some “realism” to his plot and he agreed to let me help.  At midnight, we made quick work of changing our status, pictures and profiles.  It wasn’t long before congratulations came streaming in.  The photo of my hand adorned with a big, beautiful rock made it that much better.  I still have a congratulation card pinned to the bulletin board above my desk.  Sigh… that was a great day.  By the end of it we’d broken off the engagement with a two hour argument that will be forever known as epic.

Since then, we’ve remained good friends.  I made the trip out to see him and he to see me.  Conversation has never been found lacking and our computers aren’t fast enough for all the music we try to trade.  The subject of dating hasn’t really ever come up…  until lately.

I don’t know what Ev’s family and friends say about me, but mine tell me I should give the guy a chance.  So, when he finally got past his chicken-ness to ask me out last week, I said yes.  Of course, now we’re left waiting until he can take a long weekend from work and can get here to take me out.  I get to pick what we do as long as they include a couple of his preferences.  I pick, he brings his wallet….  Mwahahahaha!

So Ev, here’s your chance.  Don’t screw it up.  Our last fight was just so draining, I don’t know if I can do it all over again.  And if friends is all we’re ever meant to be, friends we’ll be.  From the start, it’s been wild – don’t let me down (Hmm… maybe I should listen to that song…).

Little Miss Virgin

That’s me. The virgin. The twenty-seven year old virgin. And, believe it or not, it’s by choice.

Though online matching is nothing new to me, I’ve recently opened a new chapter of my forray into cyber-dating. I’m an eHarmony girl. Or, was until my subscription expired at the end of March. I’d been an eHarmony girl for three years. Three years!

EHarmony was my mom’s idea. We were in the middle of planning my baby sister’s wedding when my mom called me up at work one day. Valentine’s day. I think she felt sorry for me. It was a good thing that my job required little to no effort and on that day, no attention at all. My mom took me through the entire online survey all the while telling me that this was a good thing and I was bound to meet my match. Well, I met a match. I met over five hundred matches. Or at least five hundred men were matched with me. Whether or not they wished to communicate with me was another story entirely.

The entries that are to follow are the stories I’ve collected over the last three years mixed in with the new stories I’m currently collecting. Gone are the days of deeply compatible matches. Plenty of Fish is my new domain. If you’re a man within fifty kilometres of yours truly, you’re a 97% match! Apparently gender and distance are the only things that really matter. Men and women are reduced to screennames including at least one capital letter and one numerical character. Why hello, MrCanada49! HotStuff1, I bet you’re my match. But wait, Allthatandabagofchips89 just sent me a message. Maybe he’s the one for me.

Join me if you will on an adventure and let’s see if Little Miss Virgin really can find her match!