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Category Archives: love

Clearing the Air

It seems to me that there are some serious misconceptions about who and what a Christian woman is. I’d like to make some clarifications.

Myth 1: A Christian woman belongs in the home, not in the workforce.
Truth: According to Proverbs 31:16, “She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard.” That doesn’t sound like a housewife to me.

Myth 2: A Christian woman shouldn’t/can’t do manual labour. That’s a man’s job.
Truth: Yes, a man should work (this is also a biblical principle), but a woman can, too. “She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.” (Proverbs 31:17)

Myth 3: A Christian woman should seen and not heard.
Truth: “When she speaks, her words are wise.” (Proverbs 31:26)

Myth 4: A Christian woman should just go about her work. It’s her job, she doesn’t need to be thanked for it.
Truth: “Reward her for all she has done.” (Proverbs 31:31)

Myth 5: A Christian woman should be meek and mild.
Truth: In Ruth 3, Naomi instructs her daughter-in-law on how to win over Boaz. It’s not a meek and mild woman that would go to a man and risk defaming not only herself, but him as well. Both women acted out of boldness.

Myth 6: Christian women are prudes.
Truth: Just because some of us have made the choice to abstain from sex until marriage doesn’t mean we aren’t human. Horomones rage no matter what choice you’ve made. It’s our response to those urges that makes us different. “I am my lover’s, the one he desires. Come, my love, let us go out into the fields and spend the night among the wildflowers… And there I will give you my love.” (Song of Songs 7:10-12) That doesn’t sound like a prude to me. However, Song of Songs also says in 8:4, “I want you to promise, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.”

I know that there are a lot more ideas out there of what a Christian woman should be. Just because people think we should be a certain way doesn’t mean we are. Don’t be surprised when we aren’t.

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A New Revelation of Love

I came to a new revelation several weeks ago and I’ve been mulling it over ever since. It’s caused a major shift in my thinking and I’ve even had to take a good look at some of the other things I’ve believed without question.

There are several major questions that non-Christian people will ask of Christians: Is it wrong to drink alcohol? What about sex before marriage? How do you feel about homosexuality?

My first reaction is sadness. If that is what non-believers first see in Christianity, us Christians are doing pretty sorry work in spreading the Gospel. How often do you hear people say, “Oh, you’re a Christian? Man, you guys are the greatest bunch of people around!”? I’m willing to bet on… oh… never. More often than not, I get, “You’re a Christian? I guess that means you’re not allowed to drink of swear or have sex. That sucks.”

I heard a preacher say once that Christians get in trouble when we shout what God whispers and whisper what He shouts. Jesus never shouted about homosexuals or alcohol or liars. Jesus’ life on earth screamed LOVE!

Here’s my revelation: I have gone for so long disregarding all those who say that gay people are born that way. Hold on right there, I’m still not saying they are, but I’ve had a shift in thinking about this one. According to God’s Word, we, as in all of humanity, are born with a sin nature. We are pre-disposed to sin. That means all sin. No sin is greater than another whether it be lying, stealing, cheating, adultery or murder.

What makes a person lead a life of sin is a lack of control. A Christians, we are told that we need to renew our minds. That means, replacing our sinful thoughts with God’s thoughts. We cannot expect non-believers to grasp this idea and we cannot fault them for it. Sinners are supposed to sin. That’s their job and most of them are pretty good at it. So why do we Christians frown at them for it?

When was the last time you heard God say, “Hey you over there, go judge your neighbour. And you, yeah, you in the white shirt, you haven’t pointed out enough sin today.” That’s not what God is all about.  All through the Bible, God’s message to sinners was a message of love. Love. Love. Love. It is not our job to point out sin, nor is it our job to judge. Leave that up to God. He deals with it better anyway.

It’s time for Christians to change their thinking. Am I still appalled by blatant displays of homosexuality? You bet I am. But I should feel the exact same way about adultery, lying, murder and everything else that does not include living a life of love. You can’t go tell a person all their doing wrong and then jump right into, “So, do you want Jesus in your life?” If all a person knows of Jesus is that he doesn’t like their sin, where’s the attraction in that?

I want to live a life that attracts people to the Jesus in me. I want sinners to find me attractive because I have something they don’t. My actions should be shouting out the love of God while my voice cries of His love and glory.

Seeking His Heart and Not His Hand

Maybe it’s just me.  Then again, maybe it’s not.  I’ve been noticing a trend in the North American Church of late.  It seems to me that many churches these days are looking for the signs and wonders – the manifestation of the things of God.  Don’t get me wrong, we need to see God move.  The signs and wonders are what bring people into the kingdom, but I believe that we, as Christians, get off track when we start to look for the miraculous instead of the One who makes the miracles happen.

If Mark 16:17 says that signs and wonders will follow them that believe, why are we running and chasing after the miracles?  The picture that comes to mind here is a dog chasing his tail.  If signs and wonders follow us and we’re chasing the signs and wonders… Do you get the picture?

What happened to seeking the Kingdom and God’s righteousness?  Wasn’t that our instruction?  “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.”  I heard a preacher/rapper once say that we need to be seeking God’s heart rather than His hand.  Seeking the gifts and signs and wonders, that’s all in God’s hands.  Where’s his heart?  His heart is in our prayer.  In our worship.  In time spent with His Word.  In our every day.  Revival isn’t in the seeing, it’s in the believing.  It’s a heart change, not something we can grasp with our hands.  When we reach for God’s heart, He will open His hand.

My brother’s heart melts every time his baby son lights up and says, “Hi Dadda!”  God wants us to greet him like that.  “Daddy!  God, my Father, my Lover, my Friend!”  It’s not what’s in the hands that counts.  It’s all about the heart.  We love God for who He is, not what He can do for us.

Personally, I’d rather have a grip on God’s heart than His hand.

The Way I See It #76

“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitaion. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.” ~ Anne Morriss Starbucks Customer

Of all the things that I think are wrong with society today, I think that a lack of commitment tops the list. People commit only as long as it is convenient for them. Perhaps this ties in to yesterday’s post on illiteracy (a.k.a. self-centredness). When a relationship is no longer beneficial or requries too much work, people simply check out. As a result, we have a short-term society.

Our lives are tucked neatly into 30-60 minute segments (dependant on whether your life is a sitcom or prime-time drama). When things get a little uncomfortable, we merely flick a button and change the channel and our lives rush forward in a new direction leaving a whirlwind of broken relationships in our wake.

Husbands no longer feel the need to love their wives and wives no longer honour their husbands. Children do not obey their parents and we all do as we please with no thought at all to those who surround us. We are more apt to commit to a weekly reality tv show than we are to a real, flesh and blood human being. Imagine life if we fought as hard for our relationships as some have played a game to win a million dollars…

Anne Morriss is a genuis. I wish it had been I who’d come up with the quote I started this post with. So many people view commitment as being tied down, unable to be themselves. This is where our view is so incredibly defective. It is when we commit ourselves, not just in part, but in whole, that we are liberated from the old ball and chain, so to speak. If we are committed to a person and that person to us, all fear and hesitancy should dissolve. Too many people are too slow to trust and too quick to think the worst of everything and everyone.

You may think what do I, a single twentysomething, know about commitment? I have never been in a long-term relationship, never been married and have no children. I’d like to call myself a professional observer. In my wait for lifetime commitment in the form of a loving marriage relationship, I have been paying close attention to those relationships around me. I have taken note of things that work and made a point to remember the things that don’t. I have concluded that the most satisfying relationships are those where both parties have thrown caution to the wind. This is not running headlong into a relationship with eyes closed! This is entering a union with eyes wide open and clinging to it with body, mind and soul leaving nothing to question. It is when everything is bared and on the table that relationships are most successful. To say, “Here I am, all of me. I want you and all that comes with you. If you look at all this and you still want me, we can make this work.” I believe that we would find the world to be happier, more safe and secure if more people would apply this to their relationships rather than trying to build on the illusions of what we perceive those around us want from us.

Here I am, this is me, like it or not! Lay it on the line. Commit! Take a risk and be yourself for once! You may find it oddly satisfying.