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Monthly Archives: December 2011

Opposites Are Attracted To Me

I had two very different Plenty of Fish experiences in as many days.

The first was yesterday. I may or may not have been online while at work and suddenly a message pops up on Plenty of Fish. Someone wanted to chat with me! Usually I click “decline” simply because of past experiences. This time, I clicked “accept”. It turned out to be alrigh. Not that I’d ever date this guy or anything, but he was a nice Indian guy who seemed floored that I adore Indian movies as much as he does. He spent the better part of a half an hour trying to convince me to go see a movie with him next weekend. Just so happens, I’ve been thinking about going to see the movie over Christmas break. As a white chick, it’s pretty difficult to find movie dates when the movie you want to see is in Hindi with English subtitles.

I was impressed that this guy just chatted with me for the afternoon. No disgusting suggestions or off-colour comments, just questions and answers. Refreshing, really.

The second experience just goes to show that a girl can’t keep her hopes up. Another instant message box popped up today. “Hey, wanna hump?” I’m still baffled that some people think that this is an appropriate introduction to a conversation. No, thank you, I don’t want to hump. Close. Delete. Block.

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Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?

“I think so, Brain, but what if the hippopotamus won’t wear the beach thong?”

If you see a dude in a hot pink satin shirt, sitting beside a pink purse and holding a camera in a pink case, what would you think? Seriously. True story.

Shahid Kapoor Changed My Life

Ask anyone who’s been anywhere near me since September of this year and they’ll most likely tell you that there’s something different about me. I blame Shahid Kapoor. This is Shahid:

One day on my fall break from school I decided to watch a movie. I began perusing Netflix and somehow ended up in the Bollywood section (don’t even ask, I haven’t figured it out myself). That was the day my life changed. By chance, I chose a movie starring none other than Mr. Shahid Kapoor (voted Asia’s #2 sexiest man second to Hrithik Roshan). I loved the movie and was later disappointed to find out it hadn’t done well in the theatres (it was a timing thing). Chance Pe Dance is what got the Bollywood ball rolling down a steep, slippery slope. When things go down, they tend to gain speed. Now, some three months later, I’ve nearly exhausted Netflix of all the Hindi-language films, picked over the Bollywood DVD selection at certain Wal-Marts and even convinced both my mom and my best friend to see Shahid’s latest flick (Mausam) in the theatre (on separate days – I didn’t mind seeing it twice). I find myself looking for sub-titles even when I’m watching English movies and I often forget that I can’t actually speak Hindi nor am I brown.

What does this have to do with being a virgin? Nothing. But it has everything to do with men. Sort of. Here’s the thing: I think North American men have forgotten how to be real men – just like North American women have forgotten how to be real women. Men here have to be all strong and tough. It’s not okay to show emotion. Real men don’t cry. I don’t think I’ve seen a Bollywood film in which the hero didn’t cry. But these are still manly men. Hollywood has nothing to offer compared to the likes of Shahid Kapoor, Hrithik Roshan, John Abraham and so many others.

I watch these movies wondering why men can’t be like that in real life (yes, yes, I know they’re just movies). It seems that there’s still something left in the Indian culture that the Western world has swept under the rug. How often are men here applauded for their tears? Honestly (unless the guy is a complete wuss), I think tears are sexy. They show that we’re still human. They show that we feel. I’m beginning to see that, as we spend more and more time away from real life (sitting in front of a screen of any sort is not considered real life), the less we feel real things. Real emotions come from reality, not reality tv shows. We’ve placed ourselves in the lives of other people rather than living life for ourselves. We are no longer real people.

So here I am. I think I’m real… most of the time anyway. But finding real people to surround myself with is becoming increasingly more difficult. I want to spend my time with people who have real lives, real feelings, real emotions and who aren’t afraid to show it. When did it become manly or womanly to bottle everything up inside? Looking around I can’t say that it’s been good for society as a whole. I’m looking for a man who can learn a few things from these Bollywood hunks. Be a man. Cry a little every once in a while.

Clearing the Air

It seems to me that there are some serious misconceptions about who and what a Christian woman is. I’d like to make some clarifications.

Myth 1: A Christian woman belongs in the home, not in the workforce.
Truth: According to Proverbs 31:16, “She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard.” That doesn’t sound like a housewife to me.

Myth 2: A Christian woman shouldn’t/can’t do manual labour. That’s a man’s job.
Truth: Yes, a man should work (this is also a biblical principle), but a woman can, too. “She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.” (Proverbs 31:17)

Myth 3: A Christian woman should seen and not heard.
Truth: “When she speaks, her words are wise.” (Proverbs 31:26)

Myth 4: A Christian woman should just go about her work. It’s her job, she doesn’t need to be thanked for it.
Truth: “Reward her for all she has done.” (Proverbs 31:31)

Myth 5: A Christian woman should be meek and mild.
Truth: In Ruth 3, Naomi instructs her daughter-in-law on how to win over Boaz. It’s not a meek and mild woman that would go to a man and risk defaming not only herself, but him as well. Both women acted out of boldness.

Myth 6: Christian women are prudes.
Truth: Just because some of us have made the choice to abstain from sex until marriage doesn’t mean we aren’t human. Horomones rage no matter what choice you’ve made. It’s our response to those urges that makes us different. “I am my lover’s, the one he desires. Come, my love, let us go out into the fields and spend the night among the wildflowers… And there I will give you my love.” (Song of Songs 7:10-12) That doesn’t sound like a prude to me. However, Song of Songs also says in 8:4, “I want you to promise, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.”

I know that there are a lot more ideas out there of what a Christian woman should be. Just because people think we should be a certain way doesn’t mean we are. Don’t be surprised when we aren’t.

Keepin’ it going.

Thanks to my little sister, I managed to get a shout out on the Vancouver Sun and it seems my readership has suddenly increased – as have the comments. I admit that I was pretty discouraged after reading a particular comment and even got to wondering if I should even continue on with this blog, but thanks to a whole bunch of really encouraging comments, there’s no way I’m giving up that easily.

The intent of this blog was never to try to impart deep spiritual truths about maintaining purity in the world I live in, but rather to offer a humerous take on life, love and online dating.

Confession Time

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I’ve been busy with school, homework and procrastination – which is exactly what I’m doing right now. I should be doing homework, but I just got a phone call from my mom who was talking to a friend of hers who had seen this article is on the front page of the Vancouver Sun website today. It was followed by this article.

On one side, we see a few godly women standing up for what they believe in and encouraging godly men to do the same (if any guys are reading this check out this video). And on the other side we see an entire generation who have no idea what it means to have a real relationship with someone.

I’m still here. Waiting. I have to keep reminding myself that God will bring around the right guy at the right time, but sometimes I get to wondering if that right guy is in the right place and if he’s not, will he ever find me. And then I wonder if I’m even in the right place. So many questions and so few real answers. It becomes difficult for a girl like me to even talk to anyone because, let’s face it, if a 28 year old girl says, “oh, by the way, I’m a virgin…” the best response is usually a blank stare. People don’t know how to respond anymore. In a culture so inundated with sex, purity has been all but lost – even in the church.

There are so many things that have begun to burn in my spirit and this is one of them, but they all tie together. My biggest beef right now – why do Christians have to be the tolerant ones? Why is it that every other race, religion and culture can speak out and be proud, but as soon as a Christian stands up, they become a bigot? All I have to say is watch out, world, here I come. If I’m not getting the notice, at least someone is. It’s time that more people like Amy, Tamara, Lisa and Danielle stand up for what they believe in and refuse to back down.