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Category Archives: match

Good golly, it’s Marlon Brando back from the dead!

Now, most people know Marlon Brando from The Godfather.  Never having seen any of the Godfather movies, my memories of the brilliant actor come from a different genre of film entirely.  I will take no arguments from anyone when I say that his best film was Guys and Dolls.  In fact, there are many Brando fans who skip this film entirely.  Brando with Sinatra in a musical?  He’s lost his manhood!  Ack!  Never!  It takes a man’s man to remain manly in a movie rife with song and dance.

Why the sudden Brando rant, you ask?  Well, my #1 match of the morning could be mistaken as a close relation.  The cigar tucked into his headgear is reminiscent of Sky Masterson.

Ah, Marlon in a three-piece, wing-tips and fedora.  If I could have any man, that’s who he’d be.  Who cares if he runs a crap game in the sewers?  Any man who takes a girl to a Havana cantina on a first date gets a thumbs up from yours truly.  He married a goody two-shoes Salvation Army officer, didn’t he?  I am the 21st century version of Sergeant Sarah Brown.

If only 2sweet99 were Marlon (a.k.a. Sky Masterson). I’d have already been swept off my feet.

If your Dumb .. dont bother…

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NO CRACKHEADS!!!!!!!! NO JUNKIES !! NOR BABYMAMA DRAMA !!NO CRACKHEADS!!!!!!!! NO JUNKIES !! NOR BABYMAMA DRAMA !!NO CRACKHEADS!!!!!!!! NO JUNKIES !! NOR BABYMAMA DRAMA !!NO CRACKHEADS!!!!!!!! NO JUNKIES !! NOR BABYMAMA DRAMA !!NO CRACKHEADS!!!!!!!! NO JUNKIES !! NOR BABYMAMA DRAMA !!NO CRACKHEADS!!!!!!!! NO JUNKIES !! NOR BABYMAMA DRAMA !!NO CRACKHEADS!!!!!!!! NO JUNKIES !! NOR BABYMAMA DRAMA !! HAVE A NICE DAY ! =)


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I tried to be nice today.  The above “About Me” is taken from my #1 match of the day.  I couldn’t help it.  Oh, the atrocities that abound!  I sent this gentleman (and I use that term only to describe his gender) a note politely stating that, if he were truly seeking intelligent women, perhaps he should avail himself to spell check and perhaps adjust his profile.  I also asked if his profile entry actually worked for him.

LOL …opps!! i didnt kno you were part of the “Plenty Of Fish Police” !!!

So much for being nice.

and by the way…yup it does work for me. its seperates the dirties that i dont want messaging me!

He gets positive responses to that? Somehow this has not renewed my faith in my own gender, nor the opposite.  At least he took my suggestion and changed his one-liner immediately.  “If you’re dumb, don’t bother.”

One down, untold millions left to go.

A Gentleman’s Game

Gentlemen really do exist.  Well, at the very least, one does.  This is a good story with a not-so-happy ending.

The other day I was searching for blog fuel.  You know, the weird, wacky, creepy and just plain psycho people that can start a three paragraph rant on just about anything.  I found a few of those and did indeed blog.  But I also found a real winner.  And by winner I mean male model winner.  Not that he was my perfect match or anything, but, ooh baby!, break me off a piece of that!  I looked for any excuse to send him a message and it was he himself who actually presented it!  He mentioned something near the end of his profile about sending a message if a person had bothered to read that far.  Well then!  I sent a note commending him on a well-written and thought out profile.  It’s not a literary masterpiece by any means, but it kept my attention and amused me.  I wasn’t really expecting much out of this one if anything, but, hey, I’ve got nothing to lose, right?

I sent said note on Wednesday.  Most guys respond within a few hours if they’re going to respond at all.  Thursday went by and nothing.  I wasn’t heartbroken by it, so I kept perusing profiles.  Today my phone buzzed wildly at me with several communications.  Wasn’t I surprised to see one from Mr Male Model himself!  So I ran to my computer and logged in and there was a little un-opened envelope waiting just for me!  I swear I shivered in delight.

Dear Jordan
Thank you so much for your kind message and I apologise for being so late in replying. I’ve just read your profile and I have to say you are a rare and remarkable woman….not to mention quite beautiful. Unfortunately I’ve just come out of a long relationship and I’m at the stage of my life where I’m done with casual dating. I don’t want to waste your time since I don’t think we’re very compatible.
Warmest Regards.

First thing I noticed was how obviously thought-out this guy is (or he is at least making use of a passing grade in high school English).  Second was the British spelling – Americans use a “z” in apologise.  He must also be a genius if he can so easily recognise the fact that I am not only rare, but remarkable….not to mention quite beautiful.  Though we really aren’t at all compatible, I appreciate him taking the time to write a little note rather than just leaving me high and dry.  Sigh… If only we were compatible!


But for now, I still have hopes that there is a decent man somewhere out there for me.  Thank you, Mr Male Model for once again proving that gentlemen exist!

I’ve Met My Match

On a whim, I decided to check out who Plenty of Fish matched me with.  I am not sure of how they make matches, or how they measure compatibility, but my #1 match is kwantis. A 25 year old Leo who’s looking to talk/e-mail.  He’s a student and would prefer not to mention his drinking habits (can you say alcoholic?). He’s not at all religious, but has his own car (1 point to kwantis for owning a vehicle).

With phrases like “Dam you Freedom of speach” listed in his hobbies and “Deleat this profile” as one of his life goals, who wouldn’t want to bring this guy home to meet the parents?  And how will he impress them you may ask?  “I’m 100 feet tall, I shoot lightning bolts out off my *ss.”  I’m impressed.  How ’bout you?

Little Miss Virgin

That’s me. The virgin. The twenty-seven year old virgin. And, believe it or not, it’s by choice.

Though online matching is nothing new to me, I’ve recently opened a new chapter of my forray into cyber-dating. I’m an eHarmony girl. Or, was until my subscription expired at the end of March. I’d been an eHarmony girl for three years. Three years!

EHarmony was my mom’s idea. We were in the middle of planning my baby sister’s wedding when my mom called me up at work one day. Valentine’s day. I think she felt sorry for me. It was a good thing that my job required little to no effort and on that day, no attention at all. My mom took me through the entire online survey all the while telling me that this was a good thing and I was bound to meet my match. Well, I met a match. I met over five hundred matches. Or at least five hundred men were matched with me. Whether or not they wished to communicate with me was another story entirely.

The entries that are to follow are the stories I’ve collected over the last three years mixed in with the new stories I’m currently collecting. Gone are the days of deeply compatible matches. Plenty of Fish is my new domain. If you’re a man within fifty kilometres of yours truly, you’re a 97% match! Apparently gender and distance are the only things that really matter. Men and women are reduced to screennames including at least one capital letter and one numerical character. Why hello, MrCanada49! HotStuff1, I bet you’re my match. But wait, Allthatandabagofchips89 just sent me a message. Maybe he’s the one for me.

Join me if you will on an adventure and let’s see if Little Miss Virgin really can find her match!