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Category Archives: dirty filthy pervert

Opposites Are Attracted To Me

I had two very different Plenty of Fish experiences in as many days.

The first was yesterday. I may or may not have been online while at work and suddenly a message pops up on Plenty of Fish. Someone wanted to chat with me! Usually I click “decline” simply because of past experiences. This time, I clicked “accept”. It turned out to be alrigh. Not that I’d ever date this guy or anything, but he was a nice Indian guy who seemed floored that I adore Indian movies as much as he does. He spent the better part of a half an hour trying to convince me to go see a movie with him next weekend. Just so happens, I’ve been thinking about going to see the movie over Christmas break. As a white chick, it’s pretty difficult to find movie dates when the movie you want to see is in Hindi with English subtitles.

I was impressed that this guy just chatted with me for the afternoon. No disgusting suggestions or off-colour comments, just questions and answers. Refreshing, really.

The second experience just goes to show that a girl can’t keep her hopes up. Another instant message box popped up today. “Hey, wanna hump?” I’m still baffled that some people think that this is an appropriate introduction to a conversation. No, thank you, I don’t want to hump. Close. Delete. Block.


Dirty Filthy Pervert – Part 2

It’s been a couple of days since what I am about to tell you actually happened. It’s taken me that long to come to terms with it and to feel a little cleaner about the whole thing.

After this all took place, I had to ask a guy friend to go check out my profile to see if there was anything in it that would attract the perverts. The only thing he could see was my kissy-face “Facebook face” might attract the kind of guys I’m not looking to attract. I removed it immediately. But on with the story…

Mr Snoopaloop55 seemed like an alright guy. Not a Christian, mind you, but decent enough. We shared some low-key banter through a few messages and that was fine. When he asked me about Skype, I thought, meh, he seems nice. So later that evening once my family had all returned to their own homes, I logged on and there he was.  We chatted a bit and then he wanted a video call.

I know I should already be prepared for disappointment. No one looks as good on web cam as they do in their profile pics, but a girl can always hope. What I did not expect was for him to be in bed shirtless with the camera aimed at his not-so-chiseled chest. And that’s not all, folks. Not only was he shirtless, but he tells me right off that he plays with his nipples. He believes in being honest. That’s just a little too much honesty for me. I don’t care and I certainly don’t want to see it.

I should have ended the call there and I wish I had, but I didn’t. He spent the better part of 13 minutes checking his BlackBerry – for what I’m not sure. And in between he’d check to make sure that his nipples were still in place. Unfortunately, they were. He then tells me it’s making him horny. I then tell him I’m done. End call. Close window. Block user. Delete contact. Done. I went and took a bath after that.

And that was the end of it for Mr Snoopaloop55. And then, just as I’m writing this very post, I get a Plenty of Fish instant message from Mr Chef_Doug. 24 years old, kind of cute and can, apparently, cook. The conversation starts out like every other:

“Hey, what’s up?”
“Not much, you?”
“Same. Ur cute.”
“Uh… thanks.”
“I looked at your pics.”

And on it goes for a while and then he asks me for my MSN contact information. I tell him that, due to some recent disturbing experiences, I’m more than a little shy in giving out that information. He then makes the (correct) assumption that I’m a virgin. What’s it to him? And it all went downhill from there. I told him that there are just some subjects that should not be brought up in polite company, especially not in during a first “meeting” and he goes on right into a sex conversation! Right after I told him how inappropriate I thought it was!

So after all this, I’ve been pondering a few things. The first being how violated I feel. My sexuality is my business and mine alone. It’s not up to other people to decide when and where I’m exposed to things of a sexual nature and by these men constantly bringing up the topic, I feel like the choice has been taken from me.

The second it that I must be way more old fashioned than I thought. What happened to the days when it was unheard of to bring up the topic of sex in the presence of a woman? There was a time when a father could take a man out behind the barn and whip him for allowing such vulgar conversation in the presence of his daughter. I almost wish my dad could grab these guys’ ears and haul them out back. Heck I’d hand him the baseball bat on the way out. It seems to me that there are no longer any boundaries between what is appropriate and what is not. In an everything goes world, people are more appalled that I don’t want to talk about sex.

The third is that I am going to do all I can to avoid men of the non-Christian variety. I know that not everyone agrees or adheres to my views on this topic, but at least most Christians will at least respect my decision and not force the issue.

For now, though, I’m not jumping right back into the pond. I’ll dip my toe and test the waters. Caution is my new best friend.

What does "missionary" mean… to you?

Way back when I was much, much younger than I am now, I had the opportunity to spend some time at Wanaskewin Heritage Park in Saskatchewan.  Back in the day (and maybe still to this day) the tour started with a lighted, narrated diorama that guided the viewer through the history of the site as well as the history of the Cree Nation of the area.  I had the pleasure, nay, the joy of seeing this demonstration, not once, but twice!  Yes, twice!  While many took that time in the dark theatre to catch up on much needed rest, I watched in anticipation wondering what waxy sculpture would be shone upon next.

Over the years, much of the content of the presentation has been lost amidst many other useless facts in the back of my mind, but there are a few words that come back to haunt me over and over… and over and over…  (whispered in a creepy voice) “What does Wanaskewin mean (insert pause here for effect) to you?”  (Google that if you’re really curious.)

Now I imagine that you’ve become curious and are wondering about the reasoning behind my little bit of culture.

I was recently reminded of that haunting little phrase and found the way of questioning relevant.  Not that Plenty of Fish and Wanaskewin have anything to do with each other even in the smallest sense, but it’s all in the title.

I wonder what “missionary” means to most people.  In the traditional sense, I see missionary and think prim and proper and often frumpy (when it comes to women).  So, this afternoon I was yet again surprised (though by now I don’t believe I ought to be) when pro_man decided to send me an instant message.  After an initial greeting, out of the blue, he says, “I’m a virgin.”  Good for you.  “looking to loose it.”  Wow.  Thanks for sharing.  My response, “Good luck with that.  I can’t help you.”  His response, “thanks anyways” (?!?).  Thanks for what?  For refusing to drop my pants at a “pick-up line” (if you can even call it that) that the guy doesn’t even have the decency to disguise behind something witty or sexy.

And… wait for it… my now official PoF mantra:  Dirty, Filthy Pervert!

Glory! Hallelujah!

There is at least one intelligent man on Plenty of Fish and he sent me a message.  Yes, ME!  After receiving a “Hey gorgeous, wanna go for coffee sometime?” from a 42 year old guy, I was beginning to question my own sanity in keeping my profile active and then this guy comes along.

The first thing he asked was about my tattoo.  Ask away!  I’ll tell anyone about my tattoo (and in case you can’t read it, it says “Send me” with scripture reference to Isaiah 6:8).  I find that most people who are proud of their tats are pretty open about them.  I am one such person.  Two years inked and I’m still proud… and off topic, apparently.

So he asks about my tattoo and I respond.  In the next message he tells me about his ink and asks how I came to Christ.  Now that is a good question!  Don’t ask me out for coffee in your first message.  I’m most likely to ignore you completely.  I’m not out for a one night stand!  I want to get to know you a little bit before I put my life in your hands.  How am I to know you’re not a dirty, filthy pervert?  Besides, if I went out for coffee with every random guy on Plenty of Fish who asked, I’d have a lot of dates and what is sure to be a trail of broken hearts behind me.  Yes, I am just that good.

So my faith in cyber-dating has been renewed for the time being.  Not all men are total losers or perverts!  Yay-hooray!

Canda033 A.K.A. Dirty Filthy Pervert

I’ve only been fishing for two weeks. There may be plenty of fish out there, but there aren’t too many good catches. I’ve tossed a few back already.

This week’s major catch was Canda033. His profile looked alright. The picture not too bad. We messaged back and forth a few times and he wanted to instant message. I thought, why not? So I gave him my disposable email address and he immediately added me to his messenger. I ignored him for a while. Let him dangle a bit, right? Shortly after that, he sent me a Fish message asking me to sign on to messenger. Fiesty little bugger. So I gave in and signed on.

He got through the small talk in no time and kept insisting that we are the same. I wasn’t sure how he came to that conclusion. He’s a Middle Eastern man and me a Canadian woman. Can’t get much different than that.

“This may surprise you, but I have not made love in more than six months.” Ew! Why would you tell me that?

“I’ve never made love, so I’m not surprised.” At first he didn’t believe me and then it was his turn to be surprised. He again insisted that we are the same. I was still not getting the connection.

Mr. Canda033 proceeded to ask some rather personal questions which I either skirted around or ignored. I told him I had to go. He wanted me to stay and chat. I told him I had to get up early in the morning. He wanted me to start my web cam. He started his. Talk about one disappointment after another. It should be a law that, if you post pictures to a dating site, they should actually look like you. The real thing was NOTHING like the picture his profile flaunted. It was in that moment that I knew I’d never activate my camera. I told him again I needed to leave.

“But I want you to stay and chat. I want to excite you.” Ew… you Dirty Filthy Pervert! (I’ve lost track of how many times that phrase has escaped my lips this week.) Given where the conversation had been, I had no doubt of where it was now headed and I wanted no part in it. I immediately closed the chat, blocked him and deleted him from my messenger. Before I could even block him from Plenty of Fish, he’d sent me a message wondering where I’d gone. Block. Delete.

I left my computer that evening feeling highly offended and deeply violated. Apparently, in a parallel universe, Good Little Christian Missionary is secret code for filthy whore. That’s how I felt he’d treated me. A girl my age doesn’t save her viriginity only to have some pervert online try to excite her. He did get me excited, but it had nothing to do with sex.. and a new blog was born.

So here’s my warning to my fellow fisherwomen – watch out for Dirty Filthy Pervert… er… Canda033 (at least the username is something like that, I can’t be sure)!