RSS Feed

Category Archives: relationships

I know a therapist, here’s his number.

I’m not educated to be a therapist.  I don’t want to be educated to be a therapist.  I’m dealing with my own issues and would rather not try to deal with yours as well.

While I hope you are all open and truthful with me, there is a line and you’ve crossed it.  Go ahead and tell me you’ve been engaged before. I can deal with that.  People are in and out of relationships all the time, but don’t give me the whole sob story about how she left you a month before the wedding and how you’re still heart-broken over it and basically looking for a chick to rebound with.  I’m not that chick.

I feel for you, I really do (but it makes me wonder why she left in the first place).  However, I’m pretty much a clean slate when it comes to relationships.  I’ve dealt with some serious baggage in the past and know enough to know that I don’t want to deal with it again.  You have obviously not been able to reconcile what’s happened to you and really have no business pursuing me until you’ve found a way to deal with it.

With all of that being said, refrain from contacting any other poor, unsuspecting women, delete your Plenty of Fish profile and for goodness sake, please find a therapist before you even consider any semblance of a love life.

Advertisements

The Way I See It #76

“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitaion. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.” ~ Anne Morriss Starbucks Customer

Of all the things that I think are wrong with society today, I think that a lack of commitment tops the list. People commit only as long as it is convenient for them. Perhaps this ties in to yesterday’s post on illiteracy (a.k.a. self-centredness). When a relationship is no longer beneficial or requries too much work, people simply check out. As a result, we have a short-term society.

Our lives are tucked neatly into 30-60 minute segments (dependant on whether your life is a sitcom or prime-time drama). When things get a little uncomfortable, we merely flick a button and change the channel and our lives rush forward in a new direction leaving a whirlwind of broken relationships in our wake.

Husbands no longer feel the need to love their wives and wives no longer honour their husbands. Children do not obey their parents and we all do as we please with no thought at all to those who surround us. We are more apt to commit to a weekly reality tv show than we are to a real, flesh and blood human being. Imagine life if we fought as hard for our relationships as some have played a game to win a million dollars…

Anne Morriss is a genuis. I wish it had been I who’d come up with the quote I started this post with. So many people view commitment as being tied down, unable to be themselves. This is where our view is so incredibly defective. It is when we commit ourselves, not just in part, but in whole, that we are liberated from the old ball and chain, so to speak. If we are committed to a person and that person to us, all fear and hesitancy should dissolve. Too many people are too slow to trust and too quick to think the worst of everything and everyone.

You may think what do I, a single twentysomething, know about commitment? I have never been in a long-term relationship, never been married and have no children. I’d like to call myself a professional observer. In my wait for lifetime commitment in the form of a loving marriage relationship, I have been paying close attention to those relationships around me. I have taken note of things that work and made a point to remember the things that don’t. I have concluded that the most satisfying relationships are those where both parties have thrown caution to the wind. This is not running headlong into a relationship with eyes closed! This is entering a union with eyes wide open and clinging to it with body, mind and soul leaving nothing to question. It is when everything is bared and on the table that relationships are most successful. To say, “Here I am, all of me. I want you and all that comes with you. If you look at all this and you still want me, we can make this work.” I believe that we would find the world to be happier, more safe and secure if more people would apply this to their relationships rather than trying to build on the illusions of what we perceive those around us want from us.

Here I am, this is me, like it or not! Lay it on the line. Commit! Take a risk and be yourself for once! You may find it oddly satisfying.