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Category Archives: drink

Apparent Christianity

Here’s what the average Christian man on Plenty of Fish looks like:

– social drinker
– local pub regular
– womanizer
– Sunday morning sleeper
– potty mouth
– looking for casual dates or “friends”
– wine/beer enthusiast

Call me old-fashioned, but this doesn’t look like a decent Christian man to me.

True story: I just read in a list of interests “18a cartoons” and “boobs LOL” from a guy claiming to be a Christian. If I was worried about finding a good man before… I think someone just flushed the toilet containing my last hope.

Do I look like a heathen to you?

Mark330xi says “ur beautiful”.  (First off, I didn’t realize I could get instant messages on Plenty of Fish.)  At least he got one of three words spelled right.  Punctuation leaves something to be desired. 

Mark/Menosh (don’t know which is his real name) sent me a message the other day saying he like my well-written profile.  He loves my pretty smile and would love to get to know me.  Yup.  Mm hmm.  Today he sent me an IM asking if I liked what I read on his profile.  Sure, why not?  Seems like a half-decent guy and I told him so, but I don’t see what we have in common and he promptly closed his IM window.

Mark/Menosh is 5’8″ (taller than me, but still too short for my heels), divorced (been there, done that, not gonna do it again), drinks socially (you know I don’t really believe anyone who says that), likes weekend getaways (I’m not leaving with any man on an overnight trip until my honeymoon), and on a first date would go for drinks on an outdoor patio (as opposed to an indoor patio).

“Beauty is only skin deep – persoanlity and substance is the key.”  I don’t even know what to say to that.  This guy messaged me because he thinks I’m cute (must look like a dog on the inside if beauty is only skin deep), thinks personality (at least I’m assume that’s what he means) and substance are key, yet didn’t really read my profile (well, maybe he did and chose to ignore several important points).

And here comes my rant:

Guys – girls who don’t drink aren’t going to go for drinks on a first date. 

Just because you think I’m cute doesn’t mean I’m going to think you’re cute especially when my eyes are more drawn to the mess in your bathroom rather than your face (which, by the way, is too blurry for me to discern any details in your features).

If you don’t want me to waste your time, don’t waste mine.  Most people who feel the need to express their religious status (whether it be Christian, Jewish, Sikh, Muslim or any other), aren’t looking for people who aren’t religious at all.  If you’re not a Christian, I can tell you right now, anything else we may have in common is pretty much void – that is unless you’re willing to convert (and by convert, I don’t mean get sprinkled in the church so you can say you’re a Christian, I mean, full out, Holy Ghost-filled, fire-baptized, gonna change the world convert).

I am never ceased to be amazed at the people in the world who do no recognise the great importance of faith in others.  Just because you don’t care that I have faith doesn’t mean that I don’t care that you don’t.  And let’s be honest, if you like to spend your weekends at the pub, I’m gonna be a downer for you since I spent my weekends at church.

The Perfect First Date

I believe the following need little explanation.  These “first dates” are actually pulled from real profiles.  You tell me if you’d go out with these guys:

“i will go with a red rose, my heart, and kiss. iwill promise that i will love for ever, i will give my heart as a gift and i will kiss, if somebody accept me as a her lover.”  (I’m not sure it’s a good idea to tell a girl that you will love her forever when on your first date.  These things take time!)

“You’ll just have to wait and see…”  (Could he be any less creative?  I’m not into top-secret first dates.  It’s difficult enough to go on a first date without wondering if the guy is going to take you bungee jumping, kayaking or watersliding.)

“A first date would be dinner and drinks on a patio at Whiterock could you spot me a coulpe of bucks?”  (Yes, I always wanted to pay for a first date.  Who wants to go dutch when you can pay for the whole thing yourself?)

“thats simple i would probably just go out for a coffee or a couple of drinks. no sense in wasting time trying to go on a complex date when you dont even know the person. a first date is almost like a job interview. your both trying to determine if one is qualified for the other.”  (At least this guy has the right mindset regarding first dates.  Why waste time and money on an elaborate date when you don’t even know if you’re going to go on another?)

“Rob a bank then fly off to somewhere exotic and bury a lot of the money in a mayonnaise jar somewhere in the sand then make a treasure map so we can find it later” (Now that’s my idea of a first date!)

Then there is the endless list of boring (you wouldn’t believe how many people actually put “coffee or drinks”)…

“Am big on surprises so i won’t tell you right now but i will make it memorable”

“go somewhere we can talk and have some fun”

“Well something fun i bet, something to break the ice…. :)”

“For a first date something simple like a coffee or a drink where we can talk and get to know one another.”

This is what we’re getting ladies.  A bunch of indecisive men who aren’t willing to commit to anything.  Tell me again why I’m doing this?