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Category Archives: coffee

The Perfect First Date

I believe the following need little explanation.  These “first dates” are actually pulled from real profiles.  You tell me if you’d go out with these guys:

“i will go with a red rose, my heart, and kiss. iwill promise that i will love for ever, i will give my heart as a gift and i will kiss, if somebody accept me as a her lover.”  (I’m not sure it’s a good idea to tell a girl that you will love her forever when on your first date.  These things take time!)

“You’ll just have to wait and see…”  (Could he be any less creative?  I’m not into top-secret first dates.  It’s difficult enough to go on a first date without wondering if the guy is going to take you bungee jumping, kayaking or watersliding.)

“A first date would be dinner and drinks on a patio at Whiterock could you spot me a coulpe of bucks?”  (Yes, I always wanted to pay for a first date.  Who wants to go dutch when you can pay for the whole thing yourself?)

“thats simple i would probably just go out for a coffee or a couple of drinks. no sense in wasting time trying to go on a complex date when you dont even know the person. a first date is almost like a job interview. your both trying to determine if one is qualified for the other.”  (At least this guy has the right mindset regarding first dates.  Why waste time and money on an elaborate date when you don’t even know if you’re going to go on another?)

“Rob a bank then fly off to somewhere exotic and bury a lot of the money in a mayonnaise jar somewhere in the sand then make a treasure map so we can find it later” (Now that’s my idea of a first date!)

Then there is the endless list of boring (you wouldn’t believe how many people actually put “coffee or drinks”)…

“Am big on surprises so i won’t tell you right now but i will make it memorable”

“go somewhere we can talk and have some fun”

“Well something fun i bet, something to break the ice…. :)”

“For a first date something simple like a coffee or a drink where we can talk and get to know one another.”

This is what we’re getting ladies.  A bunch of indecisive men who aren’t willing to commit to anything.  Tell me again why I’m doing this?

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I’d Rather Smoke A Joint

Every good Christian girl is looking for several things in a potential mate.  Is he a Christian?  Does he come from a good family?  Does he go to a decent church?  One question I’d never think to ask: would he rather smoke a joint?  Yeah, I’m as flabbergasted as you are.

Mr Zairois sent me quite the message this afternoon, “how are you doing Dear?” (I’m not your Dear.  Don’t call me that.  But I’m flattered you’d think to capitalize it!)

When debating whether or not to respond to a communication, I check out the profile before I even read the message.  If I don’t like what I see, I won’t respond (but you’d better believe I’m going to blog about it later if I find it demeaning, amusing or downright absurd).

Zairois is 26 and stands no taller than I.  (I made an attempt today to try to explain to a friend why this is a problem with any man:  I, like any normal woman, love shoes.  Stilettos to be exact.  So, on any given day, while I stand only 5’5″ barefoot, I clear 5’9″ with my shoes on.  Been there, done that, would rather not tower over my man.  In my mind that’s like an elf dating a hobbit.  I just can’t picture it.)  He claims to be a Christian and his profession is “work” (good for you!).  Among his list of interests is wine, martinis, beer and pubs.  (I understand that the whole alcohol thing is a personal choice and everything, but I’m of the opinion that Christians shouldn’t be the ones over-indulging, let alone advertising that’s how they spend their free time.  But… I’ll let it slide this time because, in the words of my brother, it just keeps gettin’ gooder and gooder.)

Zairois is “Good man ,responsible, good listener,…..down to earth, Head on shoulders”  Glad to know he currently resides on planet earth and that his head is indeed on his shoulders (with most men, I’d say it’s below the waist).

I like to spend my Sunday mornings at church.  Aside from the fact that I have numerous church-related commitments to fulfill on the Sabbath, even if I didn’t, I think that church is a good habit for, well, anyone.  Zairois?  Not him.  He’s got other plans for his holy day.

“One of my favourite things to do on a Sunday morning is to sit outside with a coffee and a joint!”

Yup, you read that right.  Coffee and a joint.  I wracked my brain trying to think of anything else the word “joint” could be referring to.  I drew a blank.  Asked some friends and still came up short (5’5″ to be exact).  So, if you happen to know something I don’t, please enlighten me, otherwise, Zairois is heading to my list of blocked users.

Coffee and a joint…

Glory! Hallelujah!

There is at least one intelligent man on Plenty of Fish and he sent me a message.  Yes, ME!  After receiving a “Hey gorgeous, wanna go for coffee sometime?” from a 42 year old guy, I was beginning to question my own sanity in keeping my profile active and then this guy comes along.

The first thing he asked was about my tattoo.  Ask away!  I’ll tell anyone about my tattoo (and in case you can’t read it, it says “Send me” with scripture reference to Isaiah 6:8).  I find that most people who are proud of their tats are pretty open about them.  I am one such person.  Two years inked and I’m still proud… and off topic, apparently.

So he asks about my tattoo and I respond.  In the next message he tells me about his ink and asks how I came to Christ.  Now that is a good question!  Don’t ask me out for coffee in your first message.  I’m most likely to ignore you completely.  I’m not out for a one night stand!  I want to get to know you a little bit before I put my life in your hands.  How am I to know you’re not a dirty, filthy pervert?  Besides, if I went out for coffee with every random guy on Plenty of Fish who asked, I’d have a lot of dates and what is sure to be a trail of broken hearts behind me.  Yes, I am just that good.

So my faith in cyber-dating has been renewed for the time being.  Not all men are total losers or perverts!  Yay-hooray!

So you think I’m cute…

Word of advice.  Don’t send a girl an email just because you think she’s cute.  I can’t tell you how many messages I’ve had from men with whom I have absolutely nothing in common but the fact that we live in the same general vicinity.

I had a bite yesterday.  The first line, “hey beautiful, how it going?”  Aside from the lack of capital letters and proper spelling, there are several things wrong with this line.  I don’t mind if you think I’m beautiful, but don’t call me a pet name before you get to know me.  And, by the way, it going well.

The guy proceeds to ask me how long of been on PoF (Plenty of Fish – for those of you who are acronymically challenged). I tell him and then he asks if I have MSN and offers me his contact information. “ok, so wht would you say if i ask you to add me msn?” My response: “I’d wonder what you’re hoping to get out of chatting after you’ve read my profile. Not that I don’t want to chat, but I’ve had a lot of people want to chat and I can’t figure out why…” And then I gave him my email address. He never added me to MSN and never sent another message.

Here’s the problem when people pay attention to looks only.  I’m a good girl.  A church-going, Bible-studying missionary.  If you have a home brewery and spend your weekends at the pub, I can tell you right now that we are not compatible.  Sure, we may have good conversation and there could be the possibility that we enjoy each other’s company, but let’s be honest here, we’re not really on this site looking for buddies.

I’ve come to the conclusion that most women who take part in online dating are looking for romance, someone to spend time with, someone to keep them company.  Most men are looking for something a little different and that doesn’t usually spend endless evenings in a coffee shop talking.

While I believe that physical attraction can play an important role in the beginnings of a new relationship, to base your choices solely on looks just shows how shallow you really are.

Don’t message me just because you think I’m cute.  You’re not going to get into my pants with flattery.