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Category Archives: life

Shahid Kapoor Changed My Life

Ask anyone who’s been anywhere near me since September of this year and they’ll most likely tell you that there’s something different about me. I blame Shahid Kapoor. This is Shahid:

One day on my fall break from school I decided to watch a movie. I began perusing Netflix and somehow ended up in the Bollywood section (don’t even ask, I haven’t figured it out myself). That was the day my life changed. By chance, I chose a movie starring none other than Mr. Shahid Kapoor (voted Asia’s #2 sexiest man second to Hrithik Roshan). I loved the movie and was later disappointed to find out it hadn’t done well in the theatres (it was a timing thing). Chance Pe Dance is what got the Bollywood ball rolling down a steep, slippery slope. When things go down, they tend to gain speed. Now, some three months later, I’ve nearly exhausted Netflix of all the Hindi-language films, picked over the Bollywood DVD selection at certain Wal-Marts and even convinced both my mom and my best friend to see Shahid’s latest flick (Mausam) in the theatre (on separate days – I didn’t mind seeing it twice). I find myself looking for sub-titles even when I’m watching English movies and I often forget that I can’t actually speak Hindi nor am I brown.

What does this have to do with being a virgin? Nothing. But it has everything to do with men. Sort of. Here’s the thing: I think North American men have forgotten how to be real men – just like North American women have forgotten how to be real women. Men here have to be all strong and tough. It’s not okay to show emotion. Real men don’t cry. I don’t think I’ve seen a Bollywood film in which the hero didn’t cry. But these are still manly men. Hollywood has nothing to offer compared to the likes of Shahid Kapoor, Hrithik Roshan, John Abraham and so many others.

I watch these movies wondering why men can’t be like that in real life (yes, yes, I know they’re just movies). It seems that there’s still something left in the Indian culture that the Western world has swept under the rug. How often are men here applauded for their tears? Honestly (unless the guy is a complete wuss), I think tears are sexy. They show that we’re still human. They show that we feel. I’m beginning to see that, as we spend more and more time away from real life (sitting in front of a screen of any sort is not considered real life), the less we feel real things. Real emotions come from reality, not reality tv shows. We’ve placed ourselves in the lives of other people rather than living life for ourselves. We are no longer real people.

So here I am. I think I’m real… most of the time anyway. But finding real people to surround myself with is becoming increasingly more difficult. I want to spend my time with people who have real lives, real feelings, real emotions and who aren’t afraid to show it. When did it become manly or womanly to bottle everything up inside? Looking around I can’t say that it’s been good for society as a whole. I’m looking for a man who can learn a few things from these Bollywood hunks. Be a man. Cry a little every once in a while.

Finding Hope

I’m still not holding my breath about finding the love of my life on Plenty of Fish, but, every once in a while, someone stands out. The most recent man to rise above doesn’t claim to be a Christian and we are in no way compatible, but I got the following message from him:

I truly truly truly wish you the best. Even though I am not a Christian when I see girls with a solid relationship with God ,my hearts gets warmer a bit.

I am impressed on several levels. First – that he took the time to read my profile rather than just clicking “Meet Me” because he happened to like my smile. Second – that he respects the life I’ve chosen for myself. But then I ask, why can’t Christian guys be like that? 

Wake up. Get up. Go out.

The song recorded above came to me one day. I love it when God writes songs for me. It makes the writing experience so much easier!

Since then this has been the anthem of pretty much everything in my life. My pastor has been preaching on getting the church activated in ministry. I’ve spoken with many other Christians about the same thing. People in churches all over the world are aching to see the church arise, get up and take her place. Too many Christians are too content to sit in church on Sundays and that’s it. They never help. They never get involved. They never let people know about that God they claim to believe in.

We’ve all been faced with serious questions when it comes to our faith. Faith in and of itself is not something to be taken lightly. To add to it, Christianity has come (and will come) under attack over and over again and those attacks seem to be coming on stronger as time goes by. This is where the church cannot afford to sit back and watch.

In many typical business models, it is said that 10% of the people do 90% of the work. This has been proven true in church circles as well. No matter how big or small a church is, it’s always that faithful core doing all the work. My question is: what about everyone else?

Over the years I’ve heard any number of excuses, some of them valid, some just crazy, but none of them good enough to excuse lazy Christianity. If this life is about getting us through to the next, our own ambitions are useless. What I want to do here on earth will be of no value to me in the end. I want to live my life to give God glory. I don’t need it. I don’t want it. I want to get to the end zone and hear “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

To serve is the key here. No one in ministry from the pastor down to the janitor is exempt from service. To give of oneself for the benefit of others is the greatest gift of all.

So church, what are you going to do? Sit down and watch or stand up and take your place?

Where oh where has my little life gone?

Sometimes it seems like just days ago. Sometimes it feels like decades ago. In reality, it was somewhere in the middle. Though my life has never been one to be considered dull or bland, I start to wonder where it all went.

I’ve been back in Canada for a little over a week. I didn’t even have the comfortable luxury of taking a break to realign myself with our fair culture. In a mere 18 hours, I made the jump from a hot climate and culture, to a cool climate and culture. (After a month in the Amazon, even Vancouver’s record mild winter felt like an Arctic ice storm to me.) I miss Peru more than words can say. It’s a different life down there. I live the South American version of my life. People who have seen me live both lives know that there is a Peruvian Jordan and there is a Canadian Jordan. I’d like to be both all the time, but I don’t see how that is possible.

For someone who has never fallen in love with the jungle, let alone a third world country, the concept seems odd and foreign. It leaves a residue in the minds of the well-cultured. The concept of giving up a life in the land of opportunity seems misguided at best. Even for those who know me, the concept is difficult to grasp.

I am torn between two worlds. One part of me resides in the land where I was born and raised and love with a passion I cannot describe. The other part in a land I never expected to love, but cannot imagine my life without.

I have no great words of wisdom on how to reconcile these two parts and I am not sure that they even create a whole. There was a day when I thought I knew exactly where I was going and what I wanted and now… I want to go so many places, I want so many things. I wonder if I could have done more or if I could be doing more now. I wonder if I am where I should be or if I’ve missed the mark completely.

I know that I am not alone in these thoughts and feelings for there are many who share the concept of being torn between two lives. I know that there is an answer and I know that it must be sought.