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Category Archives: christian

Clearing the Air

It seems to me that there are some serious misconceptions about who and what a Christian woman is. I’d like to make some clarifications.

Myth 1: A Christian woman belongs in the home, not in the workforce.
Truth: According to Proverbs 31:16, “She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard.” That doesn’t sound like a housewife to me.

Myth 2: A Christian woman shouldn’t/can’t do manual labour. That’s a man’s job.
Truth: Yes, a man should work (this is also a biblical principle), but a woman can, too. “She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.” (Proverbs 31:17)

Myth 3: A Christian woman should seen and not heard.
Truth: “When she speaks, her words are wise.” (Proverbs 31:26)

Myth 4: A Christian woman should just go about her work. It’s her job, she doesn’t need to be thanked for it.
Truth: “Reward her for all she has done.” (Proverbs 31:31)

Myth 5: A Christian woman should be meek and mild.
Truth: In Ruth 3, Naomi instructs her daughter-in-law on how to win over Boaz. It’s not a meek and mild woman that would go to a man and risk defaming not only herself, but him as well. Both women acted out of boldness.

Myth 6: Christian women are prudes.
Truth: Just because some of us have made the choice to abstain from sex until marriage doesn’t mean we aren’t human. Horomones rage no matter what choice you’ve made. It’s our response to those urges that makes us different. “I am my lover’s, the one he desires. Come, my love, let us go out into the fields and spend the night among the wildflowers… And there I will give you my love.” (Song of Songs 7:10-12) That doesn’t sound like a prude to me. However, Song of Songs also says in 8:4, “I want you to promise, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.”

I know that there are a lot more ideas out there of what a Christian woman should be. Just because people think we should be a certain way doesn’t mean we are. Don’t be surprised when we aren’t.

Confession Time

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I’ve been busy with school, homework and procrastination – which is exactly what I’m doing right now. I should be doing homework, but I just got a phone call from my mom who was talking to a friend of hers who had seen this article is on the front page of the Vancouver Sun website today. It was followed by this article.

On one side, we see a few godly women standing up for what they believe in and encouraging godly men to do the same (if any guys are reading this check out this video). And on the other side we see an entire generation who have no idea what it means to have a real relationship with someone.

I’m still here. Waiting. I have to keep reminding myself that God will bring around the right guy at the right time, but sometimes I get to wondering if that right guy is in the right place and if he’s not, will he ever find me. And then I wonder if I’m even in the right place. So many questions and so few real answers. It becomes difficult for a girl like me to even talk to anyone because, let’s face it, if a 28 year old girl says, “oh, by the way, I’m a virgin…” the best response is usually a blank stare. People don’t know how to respond anymore. In a culture so inundated with sex, purity has been all but lost – even in the church.

There are so many things that have begun to burn in my spirit and this is one of them, but they all tie together. My biggest beef right now – why do Christians have to be the tolerant ones? Why is it that every other race, religion and culture can speak out and be proud, but as soon as a Christian stands up, they become a bigot? All I have to say is watch out, world, here I come. If I’m not getting the notice, at least someone is. It’s time that more people like Amy, Tamara, Lisa and Danielle stand up for what they believe in and refuse to back down.

A Little Clarification

It seems that I have more readers than I thought (this is based on the number of comments I’ve recently received) and they are as opinionated as I am! I’m all for sharing opinions as long as it stays nice and doesn’t get nasty. For readers new to LMV, I feel I should clarify a few things:

Just because I have a Plenty of Fish profile does not mean I expect to meet that special someone on Plenty of Fish. The fact that I’ve even come across a few seemingly decent men is an absolute surprise to me. I’d rather meet a good man the old-fashioned way – at church.

I realise I have a different set of standards than most people. I strongly believe that Christians are called to something higher than the rest of the world. I abstain as much as possible from certain things (I don’t drink – ever, I don’t do drugs, as the title of this blog would imply, I’m a virgin, I don’t smoke, I don’t swear). These are all things I find unbecoming to Christians. We will never win the world if we act exactly like the world. God called us to be set apart – I intend to live that life.

Despite these strong opinions, I’m not a prude. I like to have fun as much as the next person, but fun doesn’t have to include alcohol, clubs or bars. I like going to pubs (their food is just so good!) on occasion, but I don’t make a habit of it.

I don’t think it’s too much to ask that a man live up to these standards. I’ve met them. They do exist. So, rather than lower my standards, I’ll keep waiting (just like I have been for 28 years).

Response to a Reader

I recently received the following comment on my post “Apparent Christianity” from an anonymous reader:

I listed myself as a Christian on my POF profile. I am a Christian, I believe in God and I accept Jesus as the son of God yes. But I don’t live an incredibly Christian lifestyle Jordan. I am not a virgin, I support Gay rights, I am pro choice. I don’t think it is fair of you to judge some one who says they are Christian vs. their hobbies and interests….

Love from, Successful POF User

To Successful POF User:

First of all, this blog is entirely my own opinion. I understand that many of my views are considered old-fashioned and, in many cases, socially unacceptable. While I don’t live a perfect life, by giving myself a label of “Christian”, I try to live a life worthy of the name and the call God has placed on my life. To be a Christian is to be Christ-like – promoting what He promotes and avoiding what He avoids. To live a life according to biblical principles is to live a life of abstinence before marriage, to promote life (at all stages – from conception to death) and to promote the sanctity of marriage (and romantic relationships).

Let’s also remember that my “judgement” of these men is based entirely upon whether or not I think they are marriageable material – for me, no one else. I will not marry a man who spends his weekends drinking at the pub. I will not marry a man who thinks it’s okay for two men or two women to marry. I will not marry a man who believes it is a woman’s choice whether or not to kill her unborn child. These are standards I’ve set for myself and I do not expect that everyone will conform to them.

It is my opinion that, if someone gives them self the label of “Christian” that they should do everything in their power (with the help of God) to live a life worthy of that call. The world is lost because too many Christians are themselves lost. If a Christian is no different from the world, what is there to draw the unbelievers to the knowledge of Christ?

Finding Hope

I’m still not holding my breath about finding the love of my life on Plenty of Fish, but, every once in a while, someone stands out. The most recent man to rise above doesn’t claim to be a Christian and we are in no way compatible, but I got the following message from him:

I truly truly truly wish you the best. Even though I am not a Christian when I see girls with a solid relationship with God ,my hearts gets warmer a bit.

I am impressed on several levels. First – that he took the time to read my profile rather than just clicking “Meet Me” because he happened to like my smile. Second – that he respects the life I’ve chosen for myself. But then I ask, why can’t Christian guys be like that? 

Apparent Christianity

Here’s what the average Christian man on Plenty of Fish looks like:

– social drinker
– local pub regular
– womanizer
– Sunday morning sleeper
– potty mouth
– looking for casual dates or “friends”
– wine/beer enthusiast

Call me old-fashioned, but this doesn’t look like a decent Christian man to me.

True story: I just read in a list of interests “18a cartoons” and “boobs LOL” from a guy claiming to be a Christian. If I was worried about finding a good man before… I think someone just flushed the toilet containing my last hope.

Dirty Filthy Pervert – Part 2

It’s been a couple of days since what I am about to tell you actually happened. It’s taken me that long to come to terms with it and to feel a little cleaner about the whole thing.

After this all took place, I had to ask a guy friend to go check out my profile to see if there was anything in it that would attract the perverts. The only thing he could see was my kissy-face “Facebook face” might attract the kind of guys I’m not looking to attract. I removed it immediately. But on with the story…

Mr Snoopaloop55 seemed like an alright guy. Not a Christian, mind you, but decent enough. We shared some low-key banter through a few messages and that was fine. When he asked me about Skype, I thought, meh, he seems nice. So later that evening once my family had all returned to their own homes, I logged on and there he was.  We chatted a bit and then he wanted a video call.

I know I should already be prepared for disappointment. No one looks as good on web cam as they do in their profile pics, but a girl can always hope. What I did not expect was for him to be in bed shirtless with the camera aimed at his not-so-chiseled chest. And that’s not all, folks. Not only was he shirtless, but he tells me right off that he plays with his nipples. He believes in being honest. That’s just a little too much honesty for me. I don’t care and I certainly don’t want to see it.

I should have ended the call there and I wish I had, but I didn’t. He spent the better part of 13 minutes checking his BlackBerry – for what I’m not sure. And in between he’d check to make sure that his nipples were still in place. Unfortunately, they were. He then tells me it’s making him horny. I then tell him I’m done. End call. Close window. Block user. Delete contact. Done. I went and took a bath after that.

And that was the end of it for Mr Snoopaloop55. And then, just as I’m writing this very post, I get a Plenty of Fish instant message from Mr Chef_Doug. 24 years old, kind of cute and can, apparently, cook. The conversation starts out like every other:

“Hey, what’s up?”
“Not much, you?”
“Same. Ur cute.”
“Uh… thanks.”
“I looked at your pics.”
“Alright.”

And on it goes for a while and then he asks me for my MSN contact information. I tell him that, due to some recent disturbing experiences, I’m more than a little shy in giving out that information. He then makes the (correct) assumption that I’m a virgin. What’s it to him? And it all went downhill from there. I told him that there are just some subjects that should not be brought up in polite company, especially not in during a first “meeting” and he goes on right into a sex conversation! Right after I told him how inappropriate I thought it was!

So after all this, I’ve been pondering a few things. The first being how violated I feel. My sexuality is my business and mine alone. It’s not up to other people to decide when and where I’m exposed to things of a sexual nature and by these men constantly bringing up the topic, I feel like the choice has been taken from me.

The second it that I must be way more old fashioned than I thought. What happened to the days when it was unheard of to bring up the topic of sex in the presence of a woman? There was a time when a father could take a man out behind the barn and whip him for allowing such vulgar conversation in the presence of his daughter. I almost wish my dad could grab these guys’ ears and haul them out back. Heck I’d hand him the baseball bat on the way out. It seems to me that there are no longer any boundaries between what is appropriate and what is not. In an everything goes world, people are more appalled that I don’t want to talk about sex.

The third is that I am going to do all I can to avoid men of the non-Christian variety. I know that not everyone agrees or adheres to my views on this topic, but at least most Christians will at least respect my decision and not force the issue.

For now, though, I’m not jumping right back into the pond. I’ll dip my toe and test the waters. Caution is my new best friend.