RSS Feed

Category Archives: pictures

Hey, ur cute! Oh… That’s NOT u?

Pet peeve of the week: main photos that clearly contain 3 or more people.

Plenty of Fish encourages all users to put a head shot as their main photo. In fact, you can report someone if they chose not to abide by this request. Sadly, many people do ignore this. It’s not that you can’t see a person’s face, but it’s that there are five or six other faces in the photo. You think you’re communicating with the cute on the left, but he’s really the dog in the middle.

So rather than misleading numerous women (and possibly men) by providing too many faces to choose from, buck up and put your own face on – and only your own face!

*Shaking Head in Amazement*

This guy wants to “meet” me:

Meet Singles
sweet guy looking for something lagit    Vansterdam, British Columbia
come on don’t be timid send me a message after reading :)hello ladys of pof i am here looking to meet the right woman and please don’t let my pics give you the wrong impression

I’m looking for something “lagit”, too. Only when I’m looking for something real, I try to spell it right.

You’re So Vain. You Probably Think This Blog is About You.

This fisher woman discovered something this week. When people say a picture is worth a thousand words, it’s really true. Since rejoining the pond, I’ve had this photo posted as my profile picture. I’ve had a few bites, but not many and, honestly, I haven’t really cared.

This is what my friends lovingly refer to as “The Facebook Face”. The type of photo people put up on Facebook because they think it makes them look good. I use it because it amuses me, not because I think I’m sexy.

On a whim, I decided to put up a different photo. This one seems to attract a lot more attention. My blackberry has been a-buzz with notifications from Plenty of Fish.  “You have received an new message from…” and “So and so wants to meet you!”

Until now, I didn’t really think it mattered all that much. Apparently it does. The part that really gets me is that I never really even liked this picture all that much. I was hot and sweaty when it was taken and I can’t even remember what the heck I was laughing at (someone asked me that today). My nose is all scrunchy and one eye is half closed. At least my teeth are straight (thanks for paying for the braces, Mom).

I never claim to understand men, and probably never will. At least for now, it seems that there are a few more fish in the pond who are taking the bait.

Good golly, it’s Marlon Brando back from the dead!

Now, most people know Marlon Brando from The Godfather.  Never having seen any of the Godfather movies, my memories of the brilliant actor come from a different genre of film entirely.  I will take no arguments from anyone when I say that his best film was Guys and Dolls.  In fact, there are many Brando fans who skip this film entirely.  Brando with Sinatra in a musical?  He’s lost his manhood!  Ack!  Never!  It takes a man’s man to remain manly in a movie rife with song and dance.

Why the sudden Brando rant, you ask?  Well, my #1 match of the morning could be mistaken as a close relation.  The cigar tucked into his headgear is reminiscent of Sky Masterson.

Ah, Marlon in a three-piece, wing-tips and fedora.  If I could have any man, that’s who he’d be.  Who cares if he runs a crap game in the sewers?  Any man who takes a girl to a Havana cantina on a first date gets a thumbs up from yours truly.  He married a goody two-shoes Salvation Army officer, didn’t he?  I am the 21st century version of Sergeant Sarah Brown.

If only 2sweet99 were Marlon (a.k.a. Sky Masterson). I’d have already been swept off my feet.

Baby Bowler

I always find it a little strange when I get a message from someone whose profile I’ve browsed and then proceeded to ignore.  This makes me wonder if I should be blocking more people than I already have.

Baby Bowler* sent me a message the other day.  Upon viewing his profile, I distinctly recall discussing with a co-worker his passion for bowling.  I’d seen it before.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy bowling as much as the next person, but no so much as to make a point to mention it in my profile more than once (if at all).  I came, I saw, I moved on (without sending any communication).

This guy had enough sense to post a picture, however, it strangely reminds me of one of my nephews circa age 1 1/2 wearing grandpa’s giant sunglasses.  Some guys with baby faces are still cute in a grown up sort of way.  I’m not looking for cute in a want to pinch your cheeks sort of way.  May I suggest, Mr Baby Bowler than you find a more flattering picture, one that makes you look at least half your age?

*name changed to protect the innocent

Do I look like a heathen to you?

Mark330xi says “ur beautiful”.  (First off, I didn’t realize I could get instant messages on Plenty of Fish.)  At least he got one of three words spelled right.  Punctuation leaves something to be desired. 

Mark/Menosh (don’t know which is his real name) sent me a message the other day saying he like my well-written profile.  He loves my pretty smile and would love to get to know me.  Yup.  Mm hmm.  Today he sent me an IM asking if I liked what I read on his profile.  Sure, why not?  Seems like a half-decent guy and I told him so, but I don’t see what we have in common and he promptly closed his IM window.

Mark/Menosh is 5’8″ (taller than me, but still too short for my heels), divorced (been there, done that, not gonna do it again), drinks socially (you know I don’t really believe anyone who says that), likes weekend getaways (I’m not leaving with any man on an overnight trip until my honeymoon), and on a first date would go for drinks on an outdoor patio (as opposed to an indoor patio).

“Beauty is only skin deep – persoanlity and substance is the key.”  I don’t even know what to say to that.  This guy messaged me because he thinks I’m cute (must look like a dog on the inside if beauty is only skin deep), thinks personality (at least I’m assume that’s what he means) and substance are key, yet didn’t really read my profile (well, maybe he did and chose to ignore several important points).

And here comes my rant:

Guys – girls who don’t drink aren’t going to go for drinks on a first date. 

Just because you think I’m cute doesn’t mean I’m going to think you’re cute especially when my eyes are more drawn to the mess in your bathroom rather than your face (which, by the way, is too blurry for me to discern any details in your features).

If you don’t want me to waste your time, don’t waste mine.  Most people who feel the need to express their religious status (whether it be Christian, Jewish, Sikh, Muslim or any other), aren’t looking for people who aren’t religious at all.  If you’re not a Christian, I can tell you right now, anything else we may have in common is pretty much void – that is unless you’re willing to convert (and by convert, I don’t mean get sprinkled in the church so you can say you’re a Christian, I mean, full out, Holy Ghost-filled, fire-baptized, gonna change the world convert).

I am never ceased to be amazed at the people in the world who do no recognise the great importance of faith in others.  Just because you don’t care that I have faith doesn’t mean that I don’t care that you don’t.  And let’s be honest, if you like to spend your weekends at the pub, I’m gonna be a downer for you since I spent my weekends at church.

Snakes Aren’t Sexy

Still no new bites, but I have a few tips for you men out there looking for us girls to nibble:

If you think wrapping a snake around your neck is going to get you a date, perhaps you should think again.  Brittany Spears is still feeling the repercussions for her little snake dance.  You’re not helping her cause, nor are you helping your own cause.  Slowly removed the reptile from your shoulders and put it back in it’s tank where it belongs.

I don’t believe it when your profile says that you drink only occasionally when you have a beer in your hand in all eight pictures you’ve posted.  Either you drink more than you let on and don’t want people thinking you’re an alcoholic, you’re trying to make yourself look super-cool by drinking on every continent or your friends need to put the cameras away when drinking.

Posting pictures of yourself entangled with a woman will not get you a new woman.  If she’s your sister, cousin or mother perhaps you should a) take a step back so you look like relatives rather than lovers and b) add a caption.  You don’t look so much alike that people just know you’re relations.

Long, dark beard + long blond hair = bad idea.  Cut, shave or dye.

Is that speck on a snowy mountain really you? I can’t tell. The blinding glare from the snow blacks out your eyes.  (If I can’t see you, you won’t be seeing me.)

If you want to try to convince me that you are actually Clint Eastwood, maybe try posting a picture that wasn’t taken in 1972.  (I still won’t believe you, though.)

Fish are a lot like snakes – most women aren’t turned on by your weekend catch.  Slimy, wriggling fish are not sexy, even if your stunning smile is.

Hand your camera to a buddy, your web cam takes terrible pictures and you won’t look as full of yourself as you do when you take pictures of yourself in the mirror with you iPhone.

I pray this helps.  Lord knows I could stand looking at some decent profile pictures…