RSS Feed

Tag Archives: profile

What would you think?

You see a photo of a guy dressed all in white lounging with his legs crossed on a white couch in a beachy-looking place with a blue daiquiri in his hand, what would you think? Really.

Advertisements

Just seeing whoms out there.

No, that’s not a typo there. It’s a real headline from a real profile.

Now that I’m done school and also have the week off of work, I thought I’d peruse Plenty of Fish for some newbies. I may actually have time to have a social life for the first time in… ever. But if headlines are any indication as to what the profile has to say, there isn’t much hope. Here are some of my favourites from today:
“I’m the wagyu” What’s a “wagyu”?

“D 4 damager.. power to the people” I don’ t know what that means. Is it an inside joke or am I missing something?

“sooooo…yeah.” Sooooo… what?

“***Must be fit and over 24 to get a response!!***” Glad to know he’s into personality and intellect.

“In need of a snowboard buddy for winter :-)” That’s romantic.

“LOOKING FOR GOOD-HEARTED GIRL” And apparently he likes to yell. The first three lines of his profile appeared the same. He wants to learn English.

“I wear tinfoil hats” I actually thought this one was amusing, but he looks like my brother…

And I’ll end with this one:

“Staying Classy” So you went on Plenty of Fish?

Looking to find someone to be happy with

That line came from Billy. He just came out of a bad Relationship He loves camping quading dirt bike ing the outdoors. (*All captialization and punctuation is his and his alone and I do not endorse his profile.) He also has twin nefews and what appears to be a dog the size of a downtown rat. Thanks For Reading happy fishing.

Now, I don’t want to promote lying in ones profile, but there are some truths that could (should) be omitted for certain reasons. Guys, don’t let a girl know that you just got out of a bad relationship. My first thought: it takes two and, if you were a part of the relationship, you were half the problem. That’s not really something you should be advertising followed by “looking for a girl or my future wife”.

And I feel as though I should say this once more: spelling and punctuation really do matter! When a persons first introduction to you is what you have typed out (on a computer that has multiple spell checking options) it really is a poor reflection when you can’t even spell the basics. My eight-year-old nephew can spell out his relationship to me. I expect at least that from any future significant other.

Thanks For Reading happy fishing.

 

Gee, I hope it wasn’t me…

I’ve had my profile up on Plenty of Fish longer than I’d like to admit. Actually, I don’t even know how long I’ve had a Plenty of Fish profile. Too long if I can’t even remember. But there are those who are not lifetime members and actually delete their profile when the site has come to the end of its usefulness. 

Several of those people happened to have messaged me recently. I noticed as I was filtering through my inbox today. Seeing more than one deleted profile there makes me hope I’m not the common denominator there.

On a side note, that guy that sent me that fabulous message yesterday morning has sent me several since. Apparently it was not a joke and he was quite serious (insert blush here).

I was hoping that was a cat in his shirt…

I came across this guy today thinking it was Mr. Cat In My Jacket. It wasn’t.Image

Is that hair on your chest or are you… oh, that’s your cat.

Image

I kid you not, yesterday I came across a profile and the guy’s main profile picture was him looking as though he’d just had the best day of his life with his cat stuffed into the front of his jacket. Unfortunatly (or perhaps fortunately) I haven’t been able to find it again.

Image

I don’t like cats. Aside from the fact that I’m allergic to the little beasts, I find them annoying. They’re awake at awkward times of day making horrific noises keeping neighbours awake. They bite and scratch and tangle themselves between your ankles as you try to walk. I think I’d rather have a mouse problem than a cat. At least I think mice are cute. As for men and their felines, that I really don’t get. Cats are chick pets. You know, Hello Kitty-ish… though I did see a guy driving a BMW the other day with a Hello Kitty bobble head on the dash and the car proudly sported a Hello Kittly license plate frame.

Image

If I were a dude, I’m not sure I’d want to flaunt the fact I were a cat lover. It’s just not cool. It’s not manly. And if you want to date me, the cat’s just got to go!

 

Burn Before Reading

Image

If my computer were paper-based, I think I’d be burning a lot of messages before I ever read them. For those of you who are familiar with the online dating scene, you may understand what I mean.

I never read a message before I’ve viewed the profile of the sender and, sometimes, I don’t want to read the message after viewing the profile of the sender. Let me show you some examples:

I got a message from changes604 today. The picture that shows up as his primary photo is so grainy it’s difficult to tell if he’s even human or not. The only other photo he has on his profile is even worse than the oh-so-popular bathroom/iPhone photo. It’s a photo of a photo on a phone. My question is, if the photo is already on a cellular device, why did he need to take a picture of it on the device. Could it not have just been emailed? Anyway…

Aside from the photos, changes604 is a 27 year old labourer with no post-secondary education. I’m particular about whom I communicate with. Not that I have anything against labourers – society needs them – but just because you work hard for a living, doesn’t mean you can’t take the time to use some spelling and grammar. The first line or changes604’s profile goes a little something like this:

“Hey Everyone MY name is Robert :D” It only gets worse from there. He uses a double period (..) to end what I believe to be sentences and doesn’t use another capital letter until the very last word – “Peom”. Aw, he wrote a peom. If only I knew what a peom was! changes604 frosts his profile with a bang: “I HAVE FACEBOOK ALSO IF U WANA ADD ME ALSO LOVE TEXTING REMEMBER AGE IS ONLY A NUMBER”.

And then I made the mistake of reading the message. (Oh that I could have burned it before reading!) “heyh ow are u” You know when you blow up a balloon and are just about to tie the knot and it just flies out of your hand? That sound played in my head when I read this message. But it didn’t stop there! Oh no! When I failed to respond, he sent another – “we soudl hang”. I told him I didn’t know what “soudl” was and wasn’t sure I wanted to be involved with it. He then asked me to go see a movie with him. Followed by, “how u like my page” and “would u like my facebook”.

As politely as I could (which probably didn’t come across at all friendly) I told him that he might want to read my entire profile and that I wasn’t in the habit of dating people who had an aversion to spelling, grammar, capital letters and punctuation.

He didn’t respond again.