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Making Arrangements

Facebook has decided, based on the sites I visit and the things I like, that I should sign up to an assortment of marriage brokerage sites. Not dating sites, marriage sites. Big difference here. I get a lot of pop-ups for Shaadi.com. It’s the “world’s largest matrimonial service”. In addition to being a woman looking for man or a man looking for a woman, you can be a mother looking for a son-in-law or a father looking for a daughter-in-law. You can go looking in certain communities: Punjabi, Urdu, Bengali… Pick your religion. Pick your mother tongue. Pick your caste/sect. Shaadi.com is the one stop marriage shop.

Why am I talking about this, you may wonder? I’ve decided to ask my parents to arrange my marriage.¬†

No, not really. But if it were socially acceptable for a white girl living in Vancouver to do so, I think I would.

It is often said that arranged marriages actually have a better chance at making it than “love” marriages. Why is that? I believe that, when two people enter an arranged marriage, that they have already made the decision to get married and stay married. In most cases, it’s what they’ve grown to accept their whole life. They trust that their parents will find the right person for them and, if they make the choice early on, the marriage often turns into a loving relationship.

So what about “love” matches. Honestly, I think a big part of the problem isn’t love. It is, as Greg Sczebel put it, the lack thereof. What most people equate to be love isn’t love at all but raging¬†hormones and emotions that result in a whole lot of lust and when that fades away, they decide that they don’t “love” each other any more. All the shine and glitter is gone and they’re left with the harsh reality that the relationship was based on six pack abs and perky breasts (neither of which will last a lifetime).

Is there hope for love yet? Sure there is. Is there hope for a lasting marriage? Of course. But it always has and always will take two people making the decision to stick it out no matter how far south certain body parts may go.

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Paolo

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Meet Paolo. Cute. Right? Paolo met the girl of his dreams, Celeste in Rome. He’s Italian, she’s French. Love at first site. The whole shebang. They spend a few beautiful moments together and that was it. Her friends whisked her away and she’s off to Paris. All he knows is that she will be in New York for her birthday. He’s recorded a video for her and saved in on a flash drive which gets lost and ends up in the hands of a video blogger. She’s taken by the story and is bound and determined to see Paolo and Celeste together in New York at Cafe Kismet for Celeste’s birthday.

 

Skip to the end. Video blogger Natalie hops on a plane and gets herself to New York. She doesn’t want to miss the happy reunion of Paolo and Celeste. With her are others who had been following her video stories. All dressed in red, they wait. Someone says something. Paolo is there at Cafe Kismet! Unfortunately, Celeste is not. Natalie is heartbroken for the star-crossed lovers. Paolo, though, could not be happier. Somehow he found out about Natalie’s blogging and her quest to see him with Celeste once again. Completely taken in by her passion for his love for another, Paolo did not come to New York for Celeste, but for Natalie! Sigh.

Unfortunately, none of this is really true. I saw it on a tv show last week. This is just me hoping and praying that there really are men like Paolo out there who would fly around the world to meet a girl he fell in love with because she was in love with his love story.