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No More Mr. Nice Guy

I have an aunt, an awesome aunt, who has told me more than once, “Honey, you’re a lot of woman. You’re going to need a whole lot of man.”

I laughed the first time I heard it, but now that a few years have passed, I really know what she meant.

I recently “met” a guy on eHarmony. The thing about eHarmony is that you can usually find some connection with your local matches and even some not-so-local matches. I’ve been matched with my former pastor’s son and a guy I once went out with, but didn’t quite get along with his pigeons. Heck, Plenty of Fish even matched me with my ex brother-in-law. Awkward!

I digress. This guy I met on eHarmony – turns out that one of his Bible school teachers was my Sunday school teacher when I was a kid. Small world, eh? And that wasn’t the only connection. I asked around about him for character references and got the same response from everyone – he’s a really nice guy.

While there is nothing wrong with being a really nice guy, if that’s all people say about you, you’re not for me. After speaking with the guy, I came to the same conclusion. He’s a really nice guy. And when you put me into the picture, it would most likely mean that he’s a guy I’d walk all over. Not intentionally, but my personality is such that I could very easily put the pants on and that would be that.

I blame my mother. My name means “courageous in judgement” – a.k.a. “highly opinionated”. Thanks, Mom. Put that with a “really nice guy” and I’ve just taken over. While, for some women, this would be a perfect setup, it’s not at all what I want. I don’t want to wear the proverbial pants in a relationship. I want a man to take the lead. Someone who can (and will) challenge me and my opinions. Someone who will pursue me.

Sorry all you Mr. Nice Guys, you’re not for me.


It’s not just us.

Ladies, we’re not the only ones who are losing hope in men altogether. I was talking to a friend last week and he was kind of excited to go out on a date with a new guy. I’m not sure how they met, but I know that my friend spent all week texting back and forth, planning to get together over the weekend.

I was talking to him yesterday and, after all the excitement prior to the date, expected a good report. Not so. He said it was one of the worst dates he’d ever been on. They had made plans to go for dinner and the guy actually went to a barbecue and ate beforehand! My poor friend spend the night miserable and hungry. He wasn’t at all disappointed that he didn’t hear back from his date.

The moral of this story, is that ladies, we’re not the only ones frustrated with men. They’re frustrated with their own kind, too. But now I’m not sure if this gives me hope or makes me more depressed…