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If You Want to Talk, Talk.

When that little “So-and-so Wants to Chat” window pops up on Plenty of Fish, I usually ignore it. The past couple of days, I didn’t… and wish I had.

The first conversation I had started off well enough. He seemed like a nice guy, like he wanted to get to know me. And then the questions started getting personal. And I don’t mean personal like how many boyfriends have you had or when was the last time you were kissed. It was what do you do when you get turned on? I told the guy I wasn’t interested in continuing the conversation. He didn’t even have the manners to apologise for his inappropriate line of questioning before he left the chat (this was after I’d told him I found good manners attractive – apparently he wasn’t interested in that, only how quickly he could get into my pants, which, by the way would have been never).

The second conversation was yesterday evening. I was at school before class was to start and logged on to see if there was anything blog-worthy. There wasn’t until that little chat window popped up. The guy asked me if it was okay that he was from Victoria. I told him that was fine. It’s not like we’re planning a life together right off the bat. I really don’t care where a guy is at first chat. Chances are that nothing will come of it anyway. I was right. Dude started the conversation, decided he didn’t really have anything to say after all and left the chat within a matter of minutes.

Here’s the point to all of this. The first is this: if you met a girl somewhere, let’s say you sit beside her on the train, how soon into the conversation would you ask her when she gets turned on? I’m guessing never. That’s because it’s inappropriate. I don’t see how having an initial conversation online makes this any different. The second is this: if you start a conversation, you’d better have enough to keep it going. You’re the one who asked me to talk, don’t expect me to carry the communication.

That’s all. I have nothing more to rant about today.


Before clicking “send”…

Before you click the send button, please put just a little bit of thought into what you have to say. Is it worthwhile? Is it going to get a response (provided you’re looking for a response and I assume you are since you’re also on Plenty of Fish)? Is it well thought out? How will this be received? Would I want to get a message like this?

These few simple questions could have dramatically positive effects on how people respond to you.

Of the last few messages I’ve received on PoF, here’s what I’ve seen (word for word):

“Hi” (x2)

“How are you doing tonight?”

“hello there, how are you doing today besides looking so beautiful?”

(Here’s one of my favourites)

“So long, I’ve been looking too hard, I’ve waiting too long
Sometimes I don’t know what I will find
I only know it’s a matter of time
When you love someone… When you love someone…
It feels so right, so warm and true, I need to know if you feel it too
(Aaah-aaah) maybe I’m wrong
(Aaah-aaah) won’t you tell me if I’m coming on too strong?
(Aaah-aaah) this heart of mine has been hurt before
(Aaah-aaah) this time I wanna be sure
I’ve been waiting, for a girl like you
(Ooh-ooh-ooh) to come into my life (life)
I’ve been waiting, for a girl like you
(Waiting for a girl) and a love that will survive

Hi if I asked you on a date,would you accept?”

(And the worst of all…)

“u have been on here forever, i dont think any mother could love you :)”

I sent a response back to that last one asking if he thought before he sent anything. I tried to be polite about it, but when a girl gets a comment like that, it’s a little difficult to try to be nice and diplomatic. Like the happy face at the end is suppose to make me feel better about the preceeding comment?

So please, please, whoever you are, think a little bit before you hit “send”. You’ll be doing us all a favour.