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Burn Before Reading

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If my computer were paper-based, I think I’d be burning a lot of messages before I ever read them. For those of you who are familiar with the online dating scene, you may understand what I mean.

I never read a message before I’ve viewed the profile of the sender and, sometimes, I don’t want to read the message after viewing the profile of the sender. Let me show you some examples:

I got a message from changes604 today. The picture that shows up as his primary photo is so grainy it’s difficult to tell if he’s even human or not. The only other photo he has on his profile is even worse than the oh-so-popular bathroom/iPhone photo. It’s a photo of a photo on a phone. My question is, if the photo is already on a cellular device, why did he need to take a picture of it on the device. Could it not have just been emailed? Anyway…

Aside from the photos, changes604 is a 27 year old labourer with no post-secondary education. I’m particular about whom I communicate with. Not that I have anything against labourers – society needs them – but just because you work hard for a living, doesn’t mean you can’t take the time to use some spelling and grammar. The first line or changes604’s profile goes a little something like this:

“Hey Everyone MY name is Robert :D” It only gets worse from there. He uses a double period (..) to end what I believe to be sentences and doesn’t use another capital letter until the very last word – “Peom”. Aw, he wrote a peom. If only I knew what a peom was! changes604 frosts his profile with a bang: “I HAVE FACEBOOK ALSO IF U WANA ADD ME ALSO LOVE TEXTING REMEMBER AGE IS ONLY A NUMBER”.

And then I made the mistake of reading the message. (Oh that I could have burned it before reading!) “heyh ow are u” You know when you blow up a balloon and are just about to tie the knot and it just flies out of your hand? That sound played in my head when I read this message. But it didn’t stop there! Oh no! When I failed to respond, he sent another – “we soudl hang”. I told him I didn’t know what “soudl” was and wasn’t sure I wanted to be involved with it. He then asked me to go see a movie with him. Followed by, “how u like my page” and “would u like my facebook”.

As politely as I could (which probably didn’t come across at all friendly) I told him that he might want to read my entire profile and that I wasn’t in the habit of dating people who had an aversion to spelling, grammar, capital letters and punctuation.

He didn’t respond again.

 

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